Terry's post bag

Your Birthday Mailings questions answered by Terry - the Virtual Sales Manager.

Dear Terry,
Who are Birthday Mailings? Is it a couple of guys and a dog called Bonzo in a portakabin?

Terry says;

Birthday Mailings is owned by Selectabase Ltd. an established company formed over 10 years ago, employing dedicated Account Managers to providing a tailored personal service to their clients. Never seen a dog called Bonzo.”
 

Dear Terry,
What you say about your Birthday Mailings list sounds great but I am a very cautious man, in fact it took me six weeks to choose a new tie recently. Could I just try a small sample?

Terry says;

“The problem with mailing a small sample is just that; it is small. Mailing 50-100 clients may get you some results but our experience says that you really need to commit to a campaign that runs over six to twelve months to really benefit from a direct mail campaign. We are quite happy to send you a small sample of data so you can see the fields and quality of the data, but we ask for a minimum subscription of six months. This will give you time to develop and refine your mailings and allow you a large enough sample to objectively review the progress.

So how did the tie work out, pleased with it?”
 

Dear Terry,
This MPS and TPS thing seems a bit of a faff, what’s it all about? Do I really need to bother with it as it just seems like more red tape?

Terry says;

“I would say it depends how much money you have to burn and how much you like the inside of a courtroom. If the answer is “loads, Terry and since Crown Court is not on TV anymore I rather miss the courtroom drama”, then of course don’t worry about TPS or MPS, your afternoons will soon be livened up with courtroom drama and all the expense that entails. The regulations for compliance with the MPS and TPS are very strict and the fines for breaching them can be up to £5,000. All data from Birthday mailings is carefully screened for compliance.”
 

Hey Terry man,
Some list company dudes have a £1,000 minimum charge, how much bread do you guys charge as a minimum order?

Terry says;

“Well my friend, I am pleased to say that we charge a very reasonable £149+VAT as a minimum order charge. This is not minimum per month, it can be much less than that, does that help you?”
 

Dear Terry,
I want to change the oil filter on my 1974 Austin Princess, but the threads seem to be crossed and I can’t budge the filter what shall I do?

Terry says;

“Well a mailing campaign can’t help you there, what I would do is drain the oil , warming the engine will help this. Once the oil has been drained take a Philips screwdriver and push this through old filter, the extra purchase and leverage from the screwdriver should budge the stubborn filter. Alternatively a successful mailing campaign should make you enough money to pay someone else to fix your car.”
 

Dear Terry,
I am not particularly technical so please excuse my question but how will I receive my leads? Will I have to copy them out and type them in and when will I get them? If I have to type them in I will need plenty of time as I am a very slow typist.

Terry says;

“Good question, you will receive the leads via email in electronic format compatible with Excel or other propriety spreadsheet or database applications, which means no typing. Just so you know, our monthly subscribers receive their data on the 7th of each month.”
 

Dear Terry
Who should I call?

Terry says;

“Well, if there’s something strange in your neighbourhood, call Ghostbusters. If you want quality leads from Birthday mailings, then call one of the team on 01304 382211. They will be happy to help, and they are very nice!”
 

Dear Terry;
What payment methods do you accept? I am into the alternative business thing and wondered if I could say pay you with one of my sheep from my organic farm?

Terry says;

“We accept debit card and credit cards for on-line orders or cheques/ money transfers for phone orders. I’m sorry we do not accept livestock as payment.”
 

Dear Terry;
Just one simple question; HOW MUCH IS IT?

Terry says;

“The cost will depend upon the quantity of the data selected, the more you require the cost will raise proportionately, so call us on 01304 382211 for a specific quotation.”
 

Terry’s Clinic Terry looks deeper into your direct mail problems.   Dear Terry, We have been sending out direct mail letters but the response has been frankly disappointing, what are we doing wrong?   Terry says…   “It could be many things, the most common causes of a poor performing direct mail campaign are poor selection of the prospects in the first place, timing of when the mailer was sent out and a badly written letter.   Many people struggle with letter writing. It seems that some people find it easy while others labour for hours over a few paragraphs. Let’s take each point in turn;   Poor selection of prospects. Take a piece of paper and jot down at the top of the page what your product or service offers - not what it is, but what it offers people. Next, on the left hand side, write down the categories of people that you think would buy these products or services. Look at the kind of customers that actually buy your product and service and jot these down on the right hand side. The two lists together is a basic profile of your target customers. Now look at the mailing list you are looking to send to and see if it matches. It doesn’t? Well maybe that’s a good reason why the campaign bombed.   Timing Look at when you send out mailers. Many companies wait until the first of the month to buy, quite simply to get an extra 30 days credit from their suppliers, hey that’s just reality, get used to it! If your clients are buying from you on credit make sure your mailer arrives when they are most likely to take full advantage of any facilities you offer. What’s that? You sent the mailer out on the 10th of the month because Doreen was too busy re organising the stationery cupboard? Sorry but you only have yourself to blame, this just won’t do.   Letter Direct mail letter writing is an acquired skill. Not everyone can do it but a poorly written letter, will be hard to read and just turn off any prospect. Add in spelling or grammatical mistakes and you just look sloppy. Birthday mailings has a whole section of pre-written letters and a tutorial to help you write great letters. What’s that? You delegated the letter writing to the work experience boy who wrote most of it in text language and signed it off ‘laters dude’? Sigh! You need help.”

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